Huminz iz funee:
As of Nov. 18th, the most popular sport for divorced special ops soldiers in Durham NC seems to be… baby gladiator contests. Yeah, wrap your heads around that for a moment.
If you can.
No worries, I’ll wait.
linkies for the justifiably skeptical: http://www.abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=6278310&page=1
Done yet? Ok, good. Seems this asshat of a soldier videotaped his two year old beating another two year old bloody while he egged the boy on. Then, the stupid, attention whoring bastard posted it on YouTube. Wait, you don’t think he’s an attention whore? Why else post the video, hell, why else make the video? He wanted to show off his kid’s mad skills which paradoxically would never have developed if his father wasn’t such a brutal, unevolved glory hound. Sooooo… attention whore. The two year old in question is now staying with a relative. Might I suggest a total stranger? You know, someone NOT connected genetically or socially to this troglodyte?
You know, I really love the human mindset. I’ve never seen so many ways to wrap all that bad behavior in such a small package. Scary little monkeys, the lot of you.
MORE, YOU SAY?
A church in Kamarovo, a rural town in the Russian republic… is missing.
You can’t make shit like this up. Said church was inspected a few months
before the incident in question in an effort to prepare the abandoned
church for reopening and found structurally sound. A few months later all
that was left were parts of the foundation and a bit of wall.
“Pardon me, that grinding noise you just heard was a paradigm shifting
without a clutch.”
How does a church go missing? I realize it was a rural area but was it
really that isolated? An entire church is literally carried off piece by
piece and fixture by fixture in the space of three months and no one
notices? I would figure that at least one person would have noticed a
pile of bricks, a box full of candlesticks and four pews stuffed in the
back of a pickup truck, wouldn’t you?
“Hey Boris, does that podium look familiar to you?”
Is funny Igor, I don’t remember the police station having steeple, do you?
MORE?
Just before the recent collective sigh of relief at the thorough trouncing of the Batshit Rightwing Machine general election, actor, Steven fundy-as-all-fuck Baldwin announced he would move out of the country if Obama were ever elected. Well, dickhead? Get steppin! If you’re having trouble finding a country that will put up with you just head on over here and knock on the side door. When it opens just go to the guy in the hockey mask and tell him you’re unwilling to live in a country like this one moment longer. I’m sure he can come up with a way to help you. Maybe not with the living here part, but he can certainly find a solution to the living part of your problem.
It certainly won’t do the American gene pool any harm.
I MUST ADMIT, THOUGH, YOU HUMANS SURE KNOW HOW TO PARTY:
RESORT PLANS MONTH LONG NUDE “ANYTHING GOES” PARTY
“Tough economic times call for stiff measures,” Tony Fox, the owner of
the White Cockatoo resort in Mossman, in tropical Queensland state, told
the Courier-Mail newspaper.
Stiff measures? Put a quarter in the bad pun jar and move on, nothing to
see here… except nude Australians.
“It will be a hedonism resort, where anything goes for a month. It
doesn’t take rocket science to work out what it means,” says the owner of the resort.
No, I guess it doesn’t. It means an increase in calls to police and the
accompanying madness that causes, a rise in Viagra sales, increased TV sightings of Smilin’ Bob, the Enzyte Guy, and a possible spike in the birthrate ’round about August ‘09. Carry on, Kiddies.
Well that’s about it for this week, freaks. Just remember this helpful bit of romantic advice from the Old Monster: “If you really need to get his attention ladies, don’t use small talk… use a sledgehammer.”
