Good Morrow, Maggots!

Old Monster here to welcome you all to the abattoir. If you can’t guess why I’m called The Old Monster, well… you’re kinda stupid. But don’t you worry kids! We happen to like dumb folk (Most often with a light Bearnaise sauce, but I digress)

So for those of us who can read I intend to post all sorts of things: book and movie reviews, commentary, and all sorts of stuff to keep the vermin happy. That’s you, btw, just thought you might like to know that. One of the things I’d like to do every so often is sort of a “Dear Abby” kind of thing. You know, bad advice from an old bitch with no personal stake in the mess I make of your pathetic little lives. So write me at oldmonster@daverana.com and ask me anything. Anything at all in any subject: romance, current events, science, politics… whatever happens to cross that mind of yours. When I have a enough letters I’ll begin posting murderously incompetent friendly, professional advice. If I don’t know the answer you can rest assured I’ll come up an amusing pile of crap for your reading pleasure. It’s the least I can do.

Now for those of you who CAN’T read, the kitchen is down that staircase and to the right. Tell the guy in the hockey mask I sent you.

The Old Monster